We're All Hot
by Othalla
Summary: Naru thinks Asuma's hot. It's kind of weird but Shikamaru can deal. (Fem!Naruto. Part 5 of "Nobody ever dies in Uzushio")


"Your sensei is _hot_ ," Naru says.

Shikamaru pauses mid motion, his cup of coffee just barely touching his lips as he turns to stare at her incredulously. "You're my girlfriend," he says, and Naru nods.

"And your sensei is hot," she explains like that makes it any clearer and any less weird. "Nice arms, great voice and a _very_ fine beard." She eyes Shikamaru's barefaced chin thoughtfully and he just barely avoids self-consciously stroking it. Shikamaru has tried growing facial hair before. It's not a very flattering look on him.

"And you're my _girlfriend_ ", he says again, stressing the last word because really, he doesn't know what else to say to explain just how uncomfortable this line of conversation is. Asuma's his teacher. His girlfriend is not supposed to think his teacher is hot. At least he doesn't think so.

Then again, that might be a bit hypocritical of him. He remembers Naru's sensei rather vividly himself, and like she knows just what he's thinking Naru raises a dainty eyebrow and Shikamaru's cheeks grows warm.

"Shut up," he says and crosses his arms defensively.

Naru laughs.

"It's fine, man, we've all been there," she assures him and then laments pensively. "It's kind of a rite of passage back in Uzushio at this point, the only one I know of who hasn't been interested at all is Mayu, and Mayu isn't interested in anyone."

Shikamaru can understand that; Naru's sensei is rather striking. Long red hair, deep green eyes, voluptuous curves, and a kind smile to boot, it's an effort in vain not to be at the very least a little bit in love with her. The way she blows things up is simply magnificent.

"Still," Shikamaru says after taking a careful sip of his coffee. "It's a bit weird."

"What is?" Naru asks, oblivious to Shikamaru's inner turmoil.

"You know," Shikamaru says and waves his hand haphazardly in the air. "You finding my teacher… hot. And me finding yours, too, I guess." He frowns in consternation. It sounds even weirder saying it out loud than just thinking it.

Naru has a bit of cream stuck just above her upper lip. It's very distracting.

"Why, though?" She swirls her teaspoon around in her more cream than tea, tea. "Nothing wrong with just admiring."

Shikamaru frowns in consternation. "In theory."

Naru smirks. "Good thing theory is all we're working with, then," she says. Then she sighs and turns to look wistfully out of the window. "I wouldn't mind getting some actual practice in, though."

A beat passes as Shikamaru's brain takes in and picks that statement apart. Naru's considering him from the corner of her eyes, challenging and full of promises she's willing to cash in.

There's been a lot of promises and they've never seen to have the time to fulfil any of them.

Shikamaru groans and hides his face in his hands. Heat pools in his cheeks, a liquid fire that burns him all the way to his chest, and he wouldn't be surprised if he suddenly dropped dead from a heart attack. "Gods, Naru, we're in _public_."

Pouting, Naru crosses her arms under her chest. Which, hell, that does nothing to lower his blood pressure.

Shikamaru might possibly be a breast man.

It's _not_ his fault.

"Well, it's not like we're ever alone," Naru says.

Considering their living situations, she definitely has a point. Shikamaru's still bunking with his parents, a comfortable arrangement he's seen no reason to change thus far, though maybe now is the time. It might be nice getting some space. Testing his wings and all that. Getting some walls that aren't paper thin and experience life where his clan isn't spying through his window at all times because he once accidentally set the compound on fire might be nice, too.

The fire was not his fault. Just to be clear.

It's a tossup if his mother would be pleased or not, though. She might appreciate not having to wake him up in the mornings, a task Shikamaru would have you know she chose all for herself without any input from him, but she also likes fussing. Moving out would effectively hinder said fussing which she might be opposed on sheer principle.

On the other side of the equation, his father probably wouldn't care that much. He'd be behind whatever decision Shikamaru comes to. At least in private, Shikamaru amends. In front of his mother all is game and each man is on his own.

Nodding to himself, Shikamaru turns to look at his girlfriend who's not so inconspicuously trying to sneak his half eaten cookie. Shikamaru swats her hand away and she pouts.

Naru doesn't officially have her own place in Konoha even though she spends the majority of her weeks here now. It's due to some stupid line in the city legislature that only affects ninja from other villages, banning them from holding properties inside the city walls. It's either getting a hotel, which is not cheap, or rooming with someone.

Frowning, Shikamaru tries to remember if she's ever actually told him where she's living. He doesn't think she has.

Which is weird, obviously.

"Where do you live?"

Naru raises an eyebrow. "Uh, Uzushio? You've visited my place on more than one occasion."

"I don't mean there." Just thinking about _that place_ gives him the creeps. He'd die happy if he never sees it or its other occupants again, thank you very much. "I mean here. In Konoha," he elaborates.

The corner of Naru's left eye twitches minutely and then she laughs and grins. It's big and bright and utterly unbelievable.

"You do live somewhere, right?" Shikamaru asks after a long beat. He'd like to think he'd know it if his girlfriend was squatting it out in the forest, but suddenly isn't very sure. Naru's sneaky when she wants to be. Too damn good at sealing, too.

"Of course I do!" She scratches the back of her head, still smiling. "For sure!"

"Oh-kay." He shifts back slightly as the force of her grin intensifies. "And this… place, you're living in has indoor plumbing?" he asks, just to make sure.

She nods decisively. "Yep."

Shikamaru contemplates that for a minute then sighs. "Do I even want to know?"

She drops the grin and tilts her head to the side and laughs nervously. "Probably not."

Fair enough. Shikamaru scoots the cookie over to her as a reward for good behaviour. She's a sneaky liar who lies all too often for a reasonable person and honesty is to be rewarded.

"Score," she crows and inhales it in one bite. It should by all accounts be unappealing, she's got crumbs all over her chin and there's still cream stuck over her lip, but Shikamaru find it charming almost despite himself. This is his girlfriend. He kind of loves her.

"Wanna come back to mine? Mom should be over at Chouji's." It's Wednesday. Wednesday is gossip and wine day; his mother probably wouldn't be home until midnight. If you discount any potential distrustful clan members lurking around his window they'd have the house all to themselves.

Naru pauses mid motion of licking her lips and then smirks. "I might be persuaded," she purrs.

Shikamaru stares at her silently. "I gave you my cookie," he says.

She laughs at him; good-naturedly so he doesn't mind. "Well, I guess it'll do." She bounces out of her seat and offers Shikamaru a hand, smiling down at him. "C'mon lazybones. We've got places to be."

Grabbing her by the wrist he drags her down swiftly and kisses her. She makes a surprised little sound that makes warmth pool in his belly. He sucks on her lower lip, just for a little while, just because he can, and then he releases her and rises up.

Mouth still open, she blinks at him dumbly for a moment. Her mouth is red and swollen.

He smiles, pleased with himself. "You were saying?"

She huffs and shifts the hold he has on her wrist until they're holding hands. "Very cute."

"I thought so," he says and they walk out of the café.


End file.
